porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
