Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
