Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
