Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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