talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
