It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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