She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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