Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
