so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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