i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
