Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize