So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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