I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
