I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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