Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
