He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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