Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
