Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.