If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.