so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???