i can juggle bunnies
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.