i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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