you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
