Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
