You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
