why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
