ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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