Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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