Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
