You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
