I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize