I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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