i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
