S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
