Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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