I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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