I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I can't turn off my feet"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
