Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
