im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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