Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize