You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
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My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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