Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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