I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
