Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
