I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
