Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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