just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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