So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
