wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
