I faked an abortion last night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.