Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.