4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So many bounce houses so little time
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
