Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
