Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you win again, gameday.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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