It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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