Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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