I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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