He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
