I didn't shave. On purpose
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
