I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
